I was there for this one… unfortunately.
I used to have two male roommates. Both of the guys had girlfriends. One of them was a really great guy who was dating the bitch-from-hell. It was one of those cases where he was totally besotted and the rest of us were left scratching our heads, trying to figure out why?
One night we were all in the kitchen hanging out, shooting the shit and playing cards, when she leans over whispers in my roommmates ear. A huge grin spreads over his face and they head down to his bedroom. Leaving me with my other roommate, and a couple of his friends that I didn’t really know.
I felt a bit awkward being the only girl left standing (literally), but the boys and I quickly got over the initial awkwardness and continued chatting and playing cards.
It was only 11pm on a Saturday night, way too early to pack it in.
Next thing you know, she is back out in the kitchen. Stealing the CD from the player while announcing to everyone that the AC/DC that my roommmate had cued in the bedroom wasn’t nearly as good to have sex to as Rage Against the Machine. (yeah – this took place a while ago).
Then she tried to engage the guys in a debate about the topic while I’m sure my roommate was lying naked in bed with a towering (I assume – she didn’t seem the type to be with a guy who wasn’t huge) hard-on wondering what the hell was taking her so long.
Classy!
Then after she goes back to the bedroom, they start. We know this because we hear her.
Now to set this up so you’ll understand just how loud she was, I had a huge three bedroom apartment at the time. The kitchen was at one end and the bedrooms at the other. We had the top apartment which took up the entire floor. His bedroom was at the far end on the other side of the building.
We heard them from start to finish.
It was a rather uncomfortable time in the kitchen, we could hear her over the Billy Idol we had playing at near full volume. I would have left the boys and gone to my room except that it was right beside all the action. *sigh*
When they started round two we gave up and went to the pub.
Things I learned (and didn’t really want to):
1) She loves to be slapped and told she’s a bad girl
2) My roommmate is hung like a black man (her words not mine) and he has great balls
3) He doesn’t quite go fast enough when she’s ready
4) and she believes in God… or at least she kept screaming his name – although I’m pretty sure that qualifies for ‘in vain’
