Bad URLs

Posted on September 21, 2010 by Snarky

At my old job I would often get marketing brochures come to my desk. One that really stands out for me is from one of the larger telecommunications companies.

I can’t even remember what service they were advertizing, but the catch phrase was “Got It”

Unfortunately, their URL didn’t quite read the way they’d intended.

www.companynamehere.com/GOTit

Yeah, they tried. I’ll give them that.

They uppercased ‘GOT’ in an attempt to eliminate confusion but didn’t work. After all, most would agree, the ‘girls’ deserves a capital ‘T’.

FYI – advice from a webmaster, dashes don’t hurt URLs

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extreme-anal, part 2

Posted on September 18, 2010 by Snarky

From the audience:

So a few weeks later the entire staff went out for lunch. Well, except for that same sales guy, he wasn’t invited.

After Lunch, I got one of the girls to look after the desk while I ran some work related errands.

On my return, I was told to go see him.

He walked me through the office to the boardroom/lunchroom at the back (intending it to be a walk of shame), to inform me that the place smelled like food and that it needed to be aired out immediately. He had clients coming in half an hour.

He was the only one who ate in the room.

He waited waited an hour and a half to tell me the room needed airing because it was ‘my’ job to keep the area presentable.

Is it any wonder that half the staff left before his three month anniversary at the company? He was fired shortly thereafter. I saw him on transit a year later using a plastic grocery bag for a lunch bag.

Moral of the story… (as Wil Wheaton would say) – Don’t be a dick!

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extreme-anal, part 1

Posted on September 17, 2010 by Snarky

From the audience:

There was this guy I used to work with. He worked in Sales, but fancied he ran the joint.

I was working reception at the time and like most receptionists I was juggling umpteen-million tasks at once. He comes in and starts yanging at me for the messy reception area.

No word of a lie, there was one piece of paper on the floor… at his feet. He wanted me to come round the deck and pick it up… while he stood there.

Kneel at his feet? No bloody way.

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Harmful Red Tape

Posted on September 16, 2010 by Snarky

I might be snarky, but I try to do things by the book. Follow the rules and obey the laws.

But today I ran into some red tape that completely works for the spammers and against small business owners.

I tried to set up a newsletter service for a client. It’s the first time we tried this and we were both excited to move her onto this next phase.

Like most consultants, she works from home.

Legally, for her to send newsletters, to people who have double-opted-in, she has to include a physical mailing address.

Let me repeat. She’s a consultant who works from home.

Posting her home address on the internet is simply not an option. So now, she has to rent a PO Box, which in Canada costs upwards of $100 a year.

Really, it’s not a lot of money if you’re making oodles as a spammer, it is a painful unexpected expense for a start-up small business who is trying to do everything by the book.

Added bonus for spammers. With every email she sends out, she’s advertising her legitimate address, that she paid for, to spammers to use for their own purposes.

Neither of us would have minded the need for the PO Box if the information was kept private on file to use to satisfy any complaints that might come her way. But to have it out in the open for spammers to pick up and use is counter-productive.

*Sigh*

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Don’t lie on your resume

Posted on September 15, 2010 by Snarky

So, I know times are tough and that we’re all trying to make our way through these tough economic times but folks… DO NOT LIE ON YOUR RESUME.

Sure, most people pad their resumes, use wording on their resumes to make them sound better but out-right lying is bad. Claiming you’re an expert, when you’ve seen something done once is bad enough (you don’t think they’ll eventually notice?)

I heard the kicker this afternoon.

A friend, of a friend (and honestly, I wish it wasn’t even that close a connection) decided that it would be a great idea to change his name.

I’ll mention here that this person has no intention of changing their name legally. They just figured, new city, new start, hey let’s use a new name.

I’m a bit envious, there are days I’d love to pretend I’m someone else but for giggles, let’s go over the pitfalls of this option.

  • You’re at the interview, they call your ‘name’ and you forget it’s you.
  • They like you and call your references… who have no idea about your new identity. (yeah seriously, try explaining that one – I interviewed for a job, but they think my name is… )
  • Your new name won’t match any of your ID. So that nefarious past you’re trying to hide will bite you in the ass even harder because you LIED.

Moral of the story, don’t be stupid!

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Back Room Contracts…not

Posted on September 9, 2010 by Snarky

From the audience – How NOT to impress clients.

The Director of Sales in her company was entertaining clients in their boardroom hoping to woo them for a lucrative contract.

The meeting went well until they broke for lunch.

The Director, in his infinite wisdom refused his secretary’s offer to order in food from the specialty sandwich shop in their office tower. Instead, when noon rolled around, he proceeded to take their guests down the freight elevator to the loading dock area of the building.

(Yum, there’s nothing that builds up an appetite like the smell of a good docking area, fragrant with the wafting aroma of dumpsters!)

He led them in through the shop’s storeroom, weaving around crates and then behind the staff on the deli-line, past the cashier to stand in line with the rest of the customers.

Needless to say they didn’t get the contract.

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I think we’re alone now

Posted on September 8, 2010 by Snarky

Overheard on the Metro:

“Hey, are you alone?”
[pause]

“Oh good, I didn’t want anyone else to hear.”

Apparently, the other 50 people crammed into the subway car with him don’t count *sigh*

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Stroller Sense

Posted on September 7, 2010 by Snarky

A while back at the mall I was watching this mother push a stroller. You know the ones that are able to transport a small army and fold up to the size of a compact car.

Instead of relaxing and letting the Mom do all the work, the kid was sitting backwards with his butt on the tray—bouncing.

Now there’s an accident not only waiting to happen, it’s screaming, “Over here, pick me!”

I wish I could say this shopping trip had a happy ending that didn’t end in ER. But I can’t.

So parents, seriously, if you’re going to buy a Hummer-sized stroller so your kindergartener ride instead of walk (and we wonder why our kids are fat) – strap them in. Use a freakin’ padlock if you have to.

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