So this incredibly gorgeous guy sends me an email. Now we’re talking drop dead, pinch me now, oh WOW-is-he-really-emailing-me-beautiful. We chat for a bit via email and he seems normal. (These sites quickly make you adjust you’re filter from ‘I wonder if he’s nice’ to ‘I wonder just how fucked-up he is’.)
So when he asks if we can chat on MSN I agree. He’s passed my first set of filters. BTW – I don’t have my IM on the dating web site enabled… the stuff that comes through on that is just plain frightening.
We chat for a while on MSN and then he says, you seem really nice, I need to be honest with you.
So I’m thinking he’s married, has a girlfriend etc. Instead I find out he used to be a porn star. Hes been in several films and even though he’s let that world behind him now, he offered me a link.
Well, I strike him off the ‘take him home to Mother’ list but keep chatting. I mean really, how often so you get to meet a real live porn star. I was curious and to be truthful a bit skeptical.
So I’m cooking supper with my laptop on the counter when he asks to go on video. Well, he was my chance for proof. If I accepted the video request, I would see if he was really the guy in the porn film (and yes, I watched it) or a pimply faced young-in hoping for a sexy conversation to brag to his friends about.
Well, it was him and if anything he looked better on his webcam than in the porn video. He didn’t speak, even though his mic was on – weird but I figured he probably had one of those girly-voices which would ruin the illusion for most women. He types for a minute and then on my screen pops the question, “Do I want to see?”
Well dear reader, we all know what he meant and I probably should have said no, but it’s been a while and I’ll admit all this porn talk had me feeling a little horny.
He zoomed out the camera and I could see he was already naked from the waist down. He was impressive. Definitely worthy of porn star status.
“Wanna watch?” he types.
“Well duhh yeah.” I rolled my eyes. I’m sure this isn’t what Mom had in mind but I motioned for him to continue anyway.
So I’m standing in the middle of the kitchen, slicing veggies, frying hamburger for spaghetti and watching my own personal porn movie.
While I enjoyed the show, I have to suggest he not do this type of thing without a director. While he got the camera angle right but he looked bored, which got me bored real fast. My only clue that things were getting close was his breathing got faster. By the time he was done I was paying more attention to my sauteing onions than his towering hard-on. Seriously, as cum squirted up over his chest and ripped six-pack in an impressive arc, his expression still didn’t change. Made me wonder if he’d just come back from a Botox treatment.
Sadly, his lack of enthusiasm killed any desire to meet him. It would have been like having sex with a statue – hell even my vibrators have more life.
